Friday, April 01, 2011

air sex education

LA has been doing its damndest these last couple days to make sure that I don't go to the gym. It's rolled out the 85 degree weather and I have a distinct fear that it's here to stay. There is absolutely nothing I hate more than hot, sticky weather... unless it's going to the gym in hot, sticky weather. But that's what the pool's for, right? I guess I should start going to the pool.

Yesterday was the first really hot day, and I didn't go to the gym. To be fair to myself, this wasn't just because it was hot; it was an extremely busy day and I was already tired from going to the Air Sex Championships the night before. I was leaving work early to shoot a VFE interview, so I got to work early to compensate and didn't go home for lunch for the same reason. One awful side issue related to dieting is that not a lot of diet food is portable- you can't just make a sandwich in the morning and go, because sandwiches contain bread, and bread is, apparently, the enemy. Which sucks. I love bread.

But anyway- I didn't eat much other than yogurt and apples all day, and the VFE interview was stressful because of the people hovering around me while I try to set up, and it was hot and sticky, and then I had to go straight to a meeting with Robin and Sasha afterwards and didn't get home until 9. So, long story short, I had no desire at all to go to the gym. Instead I went to bed at 10:00. It was awesome.

It's hot again today, but I'm going to go. Really. I'll go home, grab a snack and go. I don't actually have to return Kris' lights until Sunday, so that's a plus.

Anyway! Air sex! I'm sure you've all been dying to hear about the mysterious Air Sex Championship that Steve and I went to on Wednesday. It was kind of exactly what you'd expect- it's kind of like sex miming. People choose a song to "perform" to and then act out their half (or some fraction thereof) of having sex with a person, an object, etc- one guy pretending he was having sex with a 15-foot woman. Some people were really funny, some people were stupid, a couple were really gross. I don't really know what else to say for those who still can't imagine it... I suppose "like that scene in When Harry Met Sally, but with more gestures" will suffice.

I don't know that I need to go to OTHER air sex shows... I mean, some people are probably really good at it, so maybe it'd be fun to go to the WORLD Championships or something, but the Los Angeles Championship was just a few people who were really into it, a few people who did it spur of the moment but were good, and a few stupid drunk people. The girl who won performed very realistic and enthusiastic lesbian air sex. She won a Fleshlight. I don't know if that would be useful to a lesbian, but maybe it would. If you don't know what a Fleshlight is, either look it up or listen to more Savage Love.

So! Big plans this weekend- gym, Glee, work, Book Club and then my FIRST REGULAR SEASON GIANTS GAME with a bunch of Dodgers fans. I'm looking forward to it, but also hoping no one beats me up for wearing Giants gear, which happened yesterday at the season opener. Dodgers fans suck- I've had enough random people yell at me from across parking lots in LA just for having a Giants bumper sticker that I know this for a fact.

Oh, and happy April Fool's Day! It's one of my favorite holidays- pranks and jokes are big in my family. Two days ago my brother and I sent my Dad a letter "from" the City and County of San Francisco, saying that he had to clean out the basement and passageway in our house, both of which are completely full of stuff. We gave him a number to call- which was Taylor's Google Voice number- and left a message saying the office was closed, or something. He fell for it hook, line and sinker and left a harassed message on the voicemail. Hurray! I couldn't let him suffer for too long though, so I called and 'fessed up pretty quickly, since Mom reported that he sounded really stressed and mad about it.

I just love holidays that are all about being goofy and childlike, don't you?

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm for some reason only half the post can be seen. I tried reloading but still same.