Two nights in a row now, I've had very disturbing dreams involving Steve possibly being gone. Gone as in missing or dead. They are freaking me out.
In the first, I was at a bar on Halloween, in my Pippi Longstocking costume, with friends from middle school. Steve apparently owned the bar, which was in my neighborhood in San Francisco. A guy with a gun came in, and starting shooting everyone. I hid under a table with Shonda Thomas (who I wasn't even really friends with in middle school) but the shooter saw us and shot at us, a wound which then miraculously disappeared. Afterwards, I couldn't find Steve, and was panicking until he walked in having been looking for me, perfectly fine and un-shot. Big hug, Independence-Day-when-Jeff-Goldblum-and-Will-Smith-did-not-die-in-outer-space-style, and I woke up, very worried.
Last night, the dream was much more vague and I just had a general sense that Steve was missing. It involved a Gchat conversation with Marc Lummis, who kept reassuring me that Steve was probably fine, wherever he was, and a lot of phone calls, and then he popped up, having been "in the desert."
I don't understand this. Obviously I have some weird subconscious thing going on where I am worried about Steve, but I don't FEEL worried about Steve in any way. Steve is a big boy and one of the most cautious people I've ever met- he knows how to take care of himself perfectly fine. Of all my friends, I probably have the fewest reasons to worry about him. So this begs the question: WTF, subconscious?
I suppose there are two possibilities: either these dreams are prophetic (God forbid), and I really SHOULD be worried about him and perhaps install a GPS device in his neck, or I am preemptively dealing with the day when I don't live in the same city as Steve and I am separated from someone who has basically been my best friend since I've been in LA. I guess it's a good idea to start dealing with that now, but I'd really prefer that it didn't take the form of nightmares.