So, just to take a broad survey of the three people who read this blog:
When you see people you hate, do you pretend to like them?
a) Yes.
b) Yes, and I usually overcompensate by being super friendly.
c) No, I just ignore them.
d) No, I am blatantly mean to them.
I ask because there is this woman I went to grad school with, whom I had a terrible horrible no good very bad experience with on set once, and every time I see her I sort of try to ignore her, but she comes over to me and makes a big show of kissing me on the cheek and talking to me when I would really rather she just ignore me too. I am 98% sure that she, like me, continues to hold a grudge against me-- things were pretty sore between us for a long time. But when she acts all nice and oh-everything's-fine-nothing-bad-ever-happened, I feel like I am the bad guy. Don't get me wrong, when she does it I do it too, because to just ignore her after she's being fake happy at me would be downright inhuman, but... it's just strange. I think secretly she does it so that I feel guilty. If that's true, it's working, and I don't even really know what I feel guilty about.
What a manipulative bitch!
Has this ever happened to anyone else?
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yeah, but not exactly the same situation. like, i'll still feel awkward around a person that i've had a falling-out with in the past...but then they act like nothing happened. so then i wonder - do they really think it's not a big deal? or forgot about it? or was i blowing it out of proportion? then usually i think about what happened and determine that no, no proportion-blowing has occurred so i'm just left confused and very cautions around the person.
ReplyDeletebut for people i really don't like - there are only a couple actual people i know that fall into this category - and usually i go with unstated option e) be minimally civil so as not to be rude, and that's as far as it goes.
Oy. Story of my life, you should know that by now. I just end up being very uncomfortable, stony and awkward. And I can't make eye contact or small talk with people I hate or have had fights with, it's a reflex. I just make mute weird half smiles when they're trying to be funny and I don't care and don't think they're funny.
ReplyDeleteI REALLY hate it when they pretend like nothing ever happened, it makes me more mad. It's like they're saying whatever happened wasn't that big of a deal when CLEARLY it is because hello! I STILL hate you!
Not that I feel this way about anybody in particular.