one * does not a swear word conceal

Dear Fat Guy At The Gym Who Wears Rainbow Socks, A Salmon Do-Rag, And A Muscle Shirt That Says "FEEL MY F*CKING PAIN" On The Back,

You are my new favorite person. Will you be my friend?

Sincerely,
Cameron

gchat snippets, the sad and the snarky

Today's snippets are all on the subject of OKCupid:

JULIA: wow
these okcupid people are freaks
ME: ?
yes.
JULIA: it's really amazing
i went on a great okcupid date on saturday
but i don't anticipate meeting anyone else
ME: are you going to see him again?
JULIA: yes
we're going to the tactile dome on saturday
ME: to make out in the red room?
JULIA: hahahah
perhaps
ME: that's like the whole point of the tactile dome
to be tactile with each other


JULIA: this guy messaged me and said he liked my profile
i checked him out
he said he likes good charlotte and reggaeton
and heavy metal
i'm just wondering how he could have possibly read my profile (bob dylan, velvet u., my morning jacket, etc) and thought, YES perfect match!!


JULIA: let me remind you that i got hotlisted by a 5'2'' transsexual on JDATE.
ME: yeah, a dwarf messaged me because i have on my profile that i like weird animals like narwhals, and he wrote me a message about narwhals. and then i wrote back because i felt guilty ignoring the dwarf, and he never responded again. so either he senses that i am secretly weirded out, or i got rejected by a dwarf.
ME: my life is amazing.
JULIA: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
narwhals
haha
you prob have one of those profiles that i make fun of
hehe
ME: great
so that's why no one but dwarves love me

JULIA: omg
check out this chat i just got on okcupid
"hi lady. i want to learn your opinion about a subject. i enjoy older women very much and an older woman said she has a weak submissive husband who has a tiny and flabby private part so she has been training him into a sissy man so she wants to show him he is not real man and adequate by having intercourse with me at their bedroom while he being at home. what should i do ?"
ME: i... ok. you win.

JULIA: did you get my text [saying she got okcupid matched with someone we went to high school with]
ME: haha just now
amazing
there should be some way to avoid finding people you know
i got matched up with a kid from afi
JULIA: hahaha yeah
ME: plus, i mean, i don't want people i know to know i'm pathetically desperate and on ok cupid
although if they are too, then i guess i shouldn't be embarrassed
JULIA: yeah i don't think online dating is desperate at all
i don't feel desperate and i'm doing it
ME: i do, yet here i am.

JULIA: is it wrong if i don't respond to a guy because i don't care for his name? (saul)
i just..i can tell you right now that i'm not going to marry a saul.


Online dating: we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

sigh

A co-worker of mine is annoyed with me because I "like to do things the hard way."

GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLE? Alphabetizing is only "the hard way" if you're an IDIOT.

weighing in a little late here...

So, there was that huge deal a few months ago at the Video Music Awards when Kanye West jumped on stage and ruined Taylor Swift's acceptance speech and all that. At the time I barely knew who Taylor Swift was, watched the clip, saw the poor frightened blond girl and felt bad for her, and was just as outraged as everyone else.

Then a few weeks ago I heard the song on the radio, thought it was fun and upbeat (I have officially gotten over my "I don't listen to pop because it's too popular" phase in life and will now embrace a good song when I hear it), and added it to my gym mix, which is chock full of songs that would cause people to roll their eyes. I figured I should watch the video, so I did.

...

Is it horrible to say that, um, I agree with Kanye? Not that it's ok to interrupt the biggest moment of someone's life to announce that she didn't actually deserve it, but Beyonce's "Single Ladies" video (which is also on my gym mix, by the way) is WAY better than this cheap-looking retread of a video. How many times have you seen this video made before? It's not even well-lit. The whole POINT of music videos is to be fun and stylish and well-lit, not to be a tiny romantic comedy set to music. Yes yes, Taylor Swift is geared towards tweens who probably eat this crap with a spoon, but REALLY. Kanye was right. Beyonce's video should have won. And yes, I know it won the Best Video award or whatever and thus Taylor Swift probably won the Best Video by a Female Artist award just so that it wasn't a complete sweep, but REALLY. I have never been a huge fan of that logic. The same logic states that when a foreign film is the best movie of the year, and is nominated at the Academy Awards for both Best Foreign Language Film and Best Picture, it cannot win both, even if it deserves both. This is bullshit. If something is that good and happens to be foreign, it should win.

So Kanye West is a jackass, but hey, at least he's not a delusional jackass.

star struck

I didn't think I'd be the sort to get all giggly and excited about lots of stars in one place, but oh hey, guess what? I am. Today was the 2009 AFI Awards, and as I am working at SDAC (it's like AFI's version of the cage, but way less fun) the other guy who works there and I had to go shoot it. I was all excited because maybe George Clooney was going to be there; turns out he wasn't, but WHATEVER, it was still packed with famous people. Before the banquet started my friend Tyler and I stood by the interview set-up, "helping" by saying "Thank you!" to the famous people as they left their interviews. In between, we giggled and discreetly pointed and generally geeked out about the whole thing.

The best part was when Jon Hamm from Mad Men was leaving the interview area- he looked at me and said "I like your shoes!" !!!!!!! I was wearing my good old Shirley Temple Doc Marten saddle shoes with the pink star laces. I had no idea what to say but managed to say "Thank you!" and to not add "I like EVERYTHING about YOU!"

So, because I live in a sucky city that has few merits, and because one of those merits (that of sometimes seeing celebrities) was on display today, I am now going to brag with a big long list of people I saw and was excited about. I'm sure I'm missing a few too, but this is who I could remember:

FAMOUS PEOPLE I SAW AT THE AFI AWARDS
Jon Hamm (Mad Men)
Henry Selick (!! - director of Coraline AND A NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS)
Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights)
Connie Britton (Friday Night Lights)
Michael Stahlberg (A Serious Man)
Alan Arkin (A Serious Man)
Richard Kind (A Serious Man)
Gabourey Sidibe (Precious)
Ben Foster (The Messenger)
Woody Harrelson (The Messenger)
Heather Graham (The Hangover-- but more importantly, Twin Peaks!)
Julianne Moore (A Single Man)
Tom Ford (director of A Single Man)
Amy Landecker (from A Serious Man)
Jeremy Renner (from The Hurt Locker)
Katherine Bigelow (director of The Hurt Locker)
Christina Hendricks (from Mad Men)
CCH Pounder (from The No. 1 Ladie's Detective Agency and Avatar)
Jesse Tyler Ferguson (from Modern Family)
Ty Burrell (from Modern Family)
Ken Marino (from Party Down, which I have never seen)
Ryan Hansen (from Party Down)
Adam Scott (from Party Down)
Deborah Ann Woll (from True Blood)
Sam Trammell (from True Blood)

My camera was right near the A Serious Man table and if only the Coen brothers or Roger Deakins had been there, I think I would have died right then.

Then I came home and my mom had randomely sent me four filet mignons from Omaha Steaks, which was pretty awesome, and I had dinner with Arielle, Li-Wei, Joey, Blake, and Kelly. So all in all, it was a good day! I need more of these in my life.

NARWHAL UPDATE

I didn't think I could love narwhals more... and then someone went and made this, which is both delicious and gross looking, notable primarily for its whimsy.

pros and cons

Pros of Moving Back to San Francisco:
1. Being near family.
2. Being near friends, the kind who are not just half friends and who actually sometimes want to do things with you.
3. Hopefully not being sad all the time as in LA.
4. Ability to work at Pacific Primary and actually make money.
5. Potential of maybe finding a teaching job.
6. Not as much competition in film-related fields as in LA.
7. Ability to actually walk places, sometimes even to work!
8. The plethora of good book stores.
9. The weather.
10. The close proximity to real nature, not fake nature like in LA.
11. Having some sort of support system for when I feel as incredibly awful as I constantly do down here.
12. Ability to possibly not pay rent and save money for a couple months while I figure things out.
13. My kitties.
14. Kaiser in San Francisco sucks a good deal less than Kaiser in LA, as evidenced by the various times I've gotten sick while at home in the last year.
15. Actually living in the city that I want to live in forever, thereby abolishing the possibility of meeting/dating someone in LA and being stuck here forever.
16. Being there when my family needs me, for whatever reason.


Cons of Moving To San Francisco:
1. All AFI-related people and much of my family will assume I've either just given up on film or am too lame to ever get hired and make it work, and many of them will be disappointed in me.
2. Parents, while happy that I would be home, are probably not thrilled with the idea of me moving back in.
3. I'm not too thrilled with that idea either.
4. Having to find a storage unit and move all my crap.
5. Leaving the three or four good friends I have here.
6. People will stop hiring me for AC/gaffing jobs if I leave, no matter how much I tell them that I can come down to LA.
7. No 24-hour grocery stores for uncrowded shopping trips.
8. Radio stations in the Bay Area have really gone downhill.
9. Leaving my gym- I really like my gym, despite the fact that it's sometimes crowded with soccer moms and every now and then the star of my thesis film comes in and I have to hide from him.