this is reality

Listen, world. Nobody likes the melon in the fruit salad, unless it is watermelon, and it never is. Nobody eats it. Last week at the Boring Work Barbecue there were two entire bowls of cantaloupe and honeydew melon left over for this very reason. Melon sucks, and also I am vaguely allergic to it. Stop forcing us to eat melon! Melon should be the sort of fruit that fans must seek out, like apricots!

On a completely different note, I enjoy the fact that until recently at a local drugstore, tampons and maxi pads are kept in the same isle as yeast infection medication, condoms, and diapers, amongst other things. Walking through it is kind of like an Epcot Center ride through failed birth control: first you need the tampons, then you use the condom, which presumably doesn't work, which results in needing the diapers. I giggled every time I visited this aisle, and now that it's gone I'm sad and I have to wonder if someone complained about the implications and hinting involved in putting diapers right next to period-and-sex-related paraphernalia.