Monday, September 22, 2008

for all the ladies in the place with style and grace

I feel ok writing about girl things, in moderation at least, on this here blog because i'm pretty sure that 90% of my readers are girls, 5% are either gay or bi, and only 5% are straight guys (hi Jack!). Besides, it's my blog and I can write abou whatever the hell I want. So, two quick tales related to Being A Girl:

Tale #1

Last week I was looking for a gynecologist in LA. Yuck-- the sort of thing I would really rather avoid altogether, but enough girls I know have had issues relating to cervical cancer that I finally made myself go to the Kaiser site and pick one. I've been a Kaiser member since about February, and they sure don't make anything easy for you. You go online to pick a doctor, and they give you pretty much zero information on them, so you have to resort to creative methods of deciding who gets to weigh you and tell you you're fat every year. For example, I chose my regular physician, Dr. Annette Rittmann, because she had so many double letters in her name.

So anyway, I'm looking through the OB/GYN page and I find Dr. Kimberly Calligari.


As in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari?!?! (FYI for non-film-junkies: Dr. Caligari is a crazy German Expressionist doctor who creates zombie people and has them do his bidding.) I was both terrified and tempted- terrified because, as Kara put it, "I wouldn't want Dr. Caligari poking around in my lady parts," and tempted because how frickin' cool would it be to be able to say you're going to see Dr. Caligari? It's the sort of joke only nerdy film kids would get, but most of my friends ARE nerdy film kids.

In the end, though, "going to see Dr. Caligari" will have to remain simply a euphemism, because mine is one cabinet he won't get his hands on (in?).

Tale #2 (not really much of a tale)

Remember Porn Star?
Apparently, Porn Star told Sean that I have nice boobs. Which, I mean, I do-- if you have somehow never noticed, my boobs are inconveniently large. I've been told this before, and thank goodness this time it wasn't to my face. What CAN you say to that?

"Thanks, I grew them myself"??

No. Tacky.

I was flattered in a weird way, though-- I mean, Porn Star has probably seen thousands and thousands of boobs in his life, and he thinks mine are nice without even properly seeing them! Way to go, boobs.

End Girly Post

P.S. Ten points if you can name the R&B song the title of this post is taken from!

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